Love is at the heart of what it means to be Christian. While we strive to love those closest to us, it can be much more challenging to reach out in charity and compassion to those we do not know or do not like. However faith comes with the perquisite challenge to do good deeds as The Letter of Saint James in the Bible states “faith of itself, if it does not have works, is dead” (James 2:15-17).
When questioned about which is the first of all the commandments Jesus replied:-
The first is this: the Lord our God is the one, only Lord, and you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: You must love your neighbour as yourself. There is no commandment greater than these. (Mark 12:29-31).
The Greatest Commandment of loving God and loving neighbour at the heart of Christianity, but it is only recently that I was prompted to reflect on the second part of the commandment ‘You shall love your neighbour as yourself’. The exhortation of Jesus is not just ‘love your neighbour’, he qualifies it by appending ‘as yourself’. A stimulus to this reflection was encountering the music of American singer and songwriter Katy Nichole. Earlier this year Katie released a new song Learning How To Love Myself and I was particularly struck by the lyrics…
I’ve tried to run from mirrors / Cause I stay there way too long / Try changing my appearance / But those feelings linger on / But maybe there is more to me than just what meets the eye / I’m learning how to love myself / And I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t need Your help / Jesus, show me what You see / All the beauty that’s in me / I don’t always do it well / But I’m learning how to love myself
As I learned the lyrics they became more ingrained in my mind and soothed my heart, helping me to accept myself in the light of the unconditional love which Jesus offers each of us. At the same time I pondered on times I have been hard on myself. While I always had a conscientious nature, there have been many times when I have found it hard to love myself. Rather than letting go of past struggles I judged myself through my self-analytical and overcritical mindset. This made it difficult for me to forgive myself and to forgive others, and to ‘drop the struggle’.
It is only through the grace of God that ‘letting go’ is possible. Learning Katy Nichole’s song reminded me that I need to love and care for myself first, before I can love others. I believe that God providentially led me to learn the guitar fifteen months ago as part of my healing journey, just as he has intervened in my life through the outpouring of the Holy Spirit and the Sacraments of Healing, breaking the bondages of sin, worry, anxiety, tension, hurt and guilt. God delights in every person and desires that we live life to the full and to use our talents and gifts which he has freely given us.
Moreover God has also been present in the holistical healing I have received through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Compassion Focused Therapy. These programmes helped me to focus on my Compassionate Self, enveavouring to treat myself in the same way that I would treat a close friend in a similar situation. This instilled more inner peace and gave me increased self-worth so that I am kinder to myself and in turn can respond to others in a compassionate way that alleviates unnecessary suffering.
I truly believe that it is in giving to others and sharing our blessings that we can receive so much in return. Reaching out in compassion to others always makes me feel more grateful. An uplifting experience which has stayed with me was volunteering with the Missionaries of Charity in Liverpool in 2021-22. Many people have been moved by the witness of the founder of that order, Saint Mother Teresa of Calcutta. She began her life as a Loreto nun in Dublin learning English and said “I will always have a special place in my heart for Ireland”. It was very humbling to volunteer and pray with The Missionaries of Charity, and to witness their faithfulness and unwavering service to the poorest of the poor irrespective of social class, creed, religion or nationality. As Mother Teresa said “God still loves the world through you and through me.”
